confiusion about loving person ....

I am probably the only person on this planet that can't figure out the significance of Love and the forever lasting happiness that it brings along with the exclusive pain that secretly traumatizes us to the brink of suicide.I try my best to avoid such a complicating topic but love in itself is something no one can ever get a clear understanding off without stress or frustration.
There is a very good possibility that I’ve been completely brainwashed as a result of watching numerous romantic films and consistently reading novels that are totally Love related.

p/s : so.........take a deep breath.........

biskut dari cinta

Kenangan masa mudaku.
Banjir di jiwaku.
Ketika aku memikirkan Nenek.
Mereka membuat  aku merasa utuh.
berjumpa di rumahnya.
Dengan semua keluarga di sana.
Kami membuat banyak kenangan.
Bagi kita semua untuk berkongsi.
Pelajaran yang dia mengajari  aku.
Panduan  aku melalui hari.
Jika  aku mendengar dengan cermat.
Aku tidak bisa sesat.
Cinta dan komitmen.
Dia mengebor ke dalam diriku.
Membuat orang bahawa  aku.
Hanya yang  aku ingin.....
Nenek mempunyai banyak nama.
Masing-masing mereka telah pilih.
Tapi nama aku ingin dia disebut
Bermula dengan cinta,
Kerana ia adalah hangat dan tidak beku.............

Hanya Menjadi aku

Kehidupan aku harus cepat mencari
Kelajuan hidup membuat aku tertawa!
Kematian hanya sekitar sudut untuk
sebuah aneh yang seperti aku!
Yah....... sehingga mereka berkata semua dari mereka k !!!.
Homofobia Aku benar-benar tidak menyukainya
Apa yang aku adalah apa yang aku lakukan..... terbaik!
Seperti jika engkau inginkan, Jawab!!!! Ini bukan ujian
Jika engkau seperti aku, "Bagus," maka kita berteman
Jika engkau benci aku...... tidak membuat aku marah!
Aku hanya seorang tunggul yang ada suka yang terlalu lurus
Yah..... melupakan kalian semua, kerana kita saling mencintai
Sang arjuna  dan seperti aku!
engkau tidak perlu menjabat tangan aku,
Aku tidak meminta engkau untuk menatap.
Jika engkau tidak menyukai apa yang engkau lihat,
kemudian mendapatkan neraka..... keluar dari sini!
aku apa yang aku???, Jadi berharap difahami
Bahkan jika engkau tidak........
 "Siapa yang benar-benar peduli?"

p/s : maaf aku suka berngarut-ngarut

Harapan

Bila semua tentang anda adalah hitam dengan kegelapan,Dan semua yang anda rasa azab tertunda.Ketika tulang anda diseksa dengan putus asa.... suram -Ketika setiap nafas adalah menghirup udara.Terus berlangsung, walaupun anda perlu meraba-raba,Untuk di tikungan adalah secercah harapan.Sinar harapan mungkin semua yang tersisa,Seperti yang anda akan untuk hidup telah kehilangan.Anda telah kehilangan semuanya, hanya saja ada gunanya!
Anda boleh menamatkan semua itu, anda perlu alasan.Tapi buang yang sepotong tali Dan memberi diri anda kesempatan harapan.Beri diri anda hari lain,Menyikat mengesampingkan apa fikiran anda mungkin berkata.Ini adalah kehidupan anda dan anda boleh membuat awal yang baru,Dengan mengabaikan otak - hanya mengikuti hati.Mengambil langkah-langkah bayi untuk mengatasi,Dan minit demi minit anda akan membina harapan anda.Membangun harapan anda,. satu hari pada satu masa,Walaupun jalan menjadi curam dan sukar untuk mendaki.Luka-luka dari masa lalu - mereka harus mati.Ketakutan masa depan semua di kepala anda.Hanya hidup di masa sekarang dan menolak untuk bermuram. Kehidupan anda akan bersinar bagi anda tinggal di harapan.....

P/S : JNGN BRHNTI BERHRAP...

she is my QUEEN....

As far as my dislikes are concerned I hate getting up early and walk far away to going to the class. I dislike envious and pushy people and hot weather. But I'm happy that I have more things I like than I dislike.
And of course like all people I have someone I admire very much. Such a person for me is my mother. To my mind my mummy isn't an ordinary woman. I can't say that our characters are very alike but usually we understand each other without a word, our views often coincide.
She is always ready to listen to my endless stories about my setbacks, problems and troubles. She encourages me when I doubt my ability, helps to fulfill my aspirations and ambitions or to reach a secret goal.
And in conclusion I'd like to say that I like being me. And I hope that everybody who knows me likes me with all my positive and negative features of character.

hopes from their "hijrah"

also, I consider this coming school year as some time to contemplate about myself and think about my future. As I entered university in malaysia,terengganu and started my campus life, I started to get confused about myself. I did not know what I was doing. I could not have confidence in myself
Days just passed by too ordinarily and I began to think that I was not making any progress.
I gradually figured out that I needed some change in my life and challenge myself for something that is completely ‘different’ from what I had been going through at home.
Bringing myself to a country so far away from my daily life in JOHOR, I am eager to experience anything with all my senses.
I believe that everything that I encounter and absorb here would help me open up my mind to think about who I am, what I want to do, and how I want to be in the future.
Now I am here.
I am here for all my expectations and hopes.
Now that I am here having myself the only one to rely on and believe in, I hope to fulfill all my ambitions. And I know, somehow, that I will achieve something throughout this year here at UMT TERENGGANU,  my College. I look forward for all the things that are waiting for me ahead, and am willing to take all opportunities.

i hopeeeeee...very2 hopeeeeee..........

C.E.R.M.I.N

ak cermin kan mu,
aku ubah kita,
ada juga engkau
tak suka,
bila dah jemu
engkau kata,
'engkau ini habuk kayu',
aku kan suria,

lalu aku cerminkan lagi,

ya aku hanya patut dibawa angin lalu
sahaja
merantau ke hilir kehulu,
agar terjumpa cermin emas,
biar bersinar bersama ku,
cahaya keimanan.

sabda rasulullah s.a.w.
"setiap orang mukmin itu adalah cermin kepada org mukmin yang lain"

k-khairunnisaIDRUS

Everyday...

everyday i laugh to hide the pain,

weather it be physicall pain, 

or emotional pain,

there is usually some kind of pain there,

and i very rarely will show it in real life,

I just laugh to hide the fact that........

I am hurting.!!!!!!!!

"JUALAN PUKAL" syurga pd ketika itu...

Pada kebiasaan ptg jumaat, selesai solat Jumaat min & bidin berehat2 sambil memikirkan
sesuatu utk d lakukan pd hari itu....

min:weh, nk wt pe hr ni?

bidin: dok tau r...gini la..

min:em.......

bidin:hoh, biasa kul 4 kekgi lek mari ah....nk ajk g rmh tok ki.

min: oooo....

bidin:lps g rmh tok ki kite ajk lek g "JUALAN PUKAL" ke guane?

min:ade bende dinu?

bidin:mcm2 r..

min:ade ori dok?

bidin:ade r...

min:bereh!!!


begitulah khidpn mrk tiap2 mggu, sblm ke "JUALAN PUKAL",mereka terlebih dahulu ke singahsana datuk mereka utk membersihkan halaman datuk mereka...smbil membersih, sedikit bacaan diberikan untuk datuk sebagai tanda hadiah yang tulus ikhlas....selesai menjalankan tggjwb, pergi la mereka bersama Lek ke "JUALAN PUKAL" yang mereka tungu2 hmpr seminggu...Yah! bg mereka inilah"SYURGA"pd ketika itu......WAH!!!!!!!.namun, pd penghujung thn 2005, mereka jrg lg ke"JUALAN PUKAL"itu & x lagi ke singahsana datuk mereka, lek pn tdk lg mbw mrk.Mrk sentisa setia menanti dgn penuh hrpn yg bilakah akan ke sana lg?.............

pen dakwat hitam.....

ketika mereka bersejoli,
aku duduk senyap-senyap,
bertemankan benda tidak hidup,
rakan-rakan sejenis,
ada-kala bersama anak marijuana,
ada juga berkhalwat dengan buku jarang skali,

lantas senyum terguris memadamkan
hati terbakar,rentung,dipasar tak laku,diumah jadi abu,

hahaha

I Hate All Four Of Me

1. I'm not exactly schizo or anything.
2. I just get so lost in my head and confused at times that I tend to just act differently at one time and then different at the next not feeling like myself and I struggle with low self-esteem most of the time.
3. But I've come a long way from being a depressed emo teenager to now a young lady who is just confused now and again and still trying to sort out my present that will effect my future.
4. I miss High School, but College is FUN.

cerita panas kami muda-mudi

Setelah semua penghuni banglo 2 tingkat msk tdr......

bidin:weh, ade citer panas dok?

mak cik:biasa r

gemok:bende?

galak,inek:(mendengar dgn pnh khyusuk)

mak cik:bla,bla,bla......

bidin,gemok,galak, inek:hohohoh....


Menjadi kebiasaan bdk2 penghuni banglo , mereka akan bermesyuarat pada pukul 12 tgh mlm.Byk perbincangan yng d ungkai seperti khdpn seharian, mslh sekeliling,agama, politik dan byk lg lah....pendek kate segala perkara d luahkn pada mlm tu lah....antara watak2 utamanya adalah bidin, gemok,galak dan inek.Mak cik memilik banyak story tentang hal semasa.Mak cik la menjadi sumber rujukan kami yang kedua pada ketika itu...bidin,gemok,galak dan inek adalah pendengar yang setia.Kadangkala bidin juga memiliki story yang tidak kurang hebatnya.

Sampai lah ke menara gading mereka berlima masih melakukan perkara yang sama lebih2 lg ketika cuti.ketika itu la mereka akan berkumpul bersama dan bercerita......


yg terlibat :
bidin ahmad abd hakim(younger bro)
gemok : abdullah nazirul mubin (younger bro cik galak)
mak cik : aku sendiri
cik galah : abdullah munzir
inek : nur izni (younger sis cik galak)

Life

I lived, laughed, loved and lost.

POK TUYU

Pada tengah tahun 2006..
lokasi
pusat tuisyen elit educare
lepas pulang solat magrid
hari khamis malam jumaat
seperti biasa...

amin:na mu gi r kabo
na:mu r..lek baik nge mu kan
amin:aku sokmo
na:hola mu kan baek..hehe
amin:hola hola aku gi kabo..
na:kan bagus..cepat ket min lewat dah ni..kan tutup
amin:hola hola

amin pergi mendekati lek yang sedang sibuk mempotostatskan kertas kerja budak
na pula sedang menyorok di balik dapur yg mane sebagai perskodeng segala perbualan mereka berdua

lek pula sedang tekun buat keje

amin:lek banyak lagi ke kertas
lek:bakpe mu nak tolong aku?
amin:buleh jugok..lekkk
lek:emm?
amin:pok tuyu lek?
lek:lewat dah ni
amin:dan lagi ni lek
lek:potostat tak siap lagi,poktuyu gane

amin ke dapur bertemu na

na:guane min?lewat dah nin
amin:tau lek,macam takboh gi jerr..huhu
na:bodek bodek sket agi bleh la min
amin:mu pulak??
na:bakpe aku nye..
amin:hola hola,aku sokmo..
na:mu kan macet sket dari aku..
amin:emmm

amin pergi semula bertemu lek di ruang tamu

lek:nak nape?
amin:dok eh,banyak lagi ke lek?
lek:ade lagi sikit hok kelas belakang..bakpe?
amin:emm..tadok nape..emm lek poktuyu lek..huhu
lek:pok tuyu poktuyu!..ak tuyu pale mu kang!??
amin:hah??

na:hahaahahahahahahahahaahahahah
harapan kami bagaikan menyusun puzzle selama 7 hari hingga mengunung tinggi lalu satu puzzle hilang.
erk?emm buleh la..


hero1:amin
hero2:na
harapan kami:lek

hahaha 

Sometimes...

Sometimes........
I do just make my mood better then I actually am so people won't ask questions..
Sometimes.........
I just can't be bothered to explain myself to everyone and I'd rather just pretend I'm all happy when I'm talking to them. I don't think people will understand me anyway..

oh...goddddddd

You can hate me,cause I don't expect the whole world to like me
I love the 21st of January to capture moments that I can keep etched in my heart.
 I'm afraid to be lost,thunders and lightnings too.
Rainy days make me think a lot,is it the same for you?  lastly,I believe in what lies on ones heart.

"I'm having fun, don't put me down..."

Nothing much to post, just a quick request. I've noticed that my hit count on this site has been going up by leaps and bounds, and I'm pretty sure my friends and family don't spend that much time visiting on a weekly basis. If you somehow found my site and you're digging the content, even a little, could you go ahead and leave me a comment, or email me, or something?
I love hearing from people about my art, and I always respond (unless you're creepy about it,
but even then I'd respond to tell you that you were, in fact, being creepy). I have no idea how so many people are stumbling onto my corner of the internet, but I'd love to know the answer to that!

inspired

public speaking.......

attention getters for self introduction speech, i need to make one, but doesnt know how.

making attention getters is my weakness, i dont know how to start one.

My speech is about myself but everytime i start a speech with attention getter, either its sounds bad or not nice. 

pls help make one !!!!!!!!!!
i made one, but it still not nice!!!!
Who am I? When I first asked myself this question , I automatically took out one piece of paper and started making a list.

After finishing the list, i have began to realize that I still don’t know who am I.

P.I.C.T.U.R.E

Pictures makes you miss the beautiful moments you had,
yes,those beautiful moments I had with you.

Hey,....... this is my homepage

 I have to say something about myself. Sometimes it is hard to introduce yourself because you know yourself so well that you do not know where to start with. Let me give a try to see what kind of image you have about me through my self-description. I hope that my impression about myself and your impression about me are not so different. Here it goes. 

I am a person who is positive about every aspect of life.
There are many things 

• I like to do, to see, and to experience.
• I like to read,
• I like to write;
• I like to think, 
• I like to dream;
• I like to talk,
• I like to listen.
• I like to see the sunrise in the morning,
• I like to see the moonlight at night;
• I like to feel the music flowing on my face,
• I like to smell the wind coming from the ocean.
• I like to look at the clouds in the sky with a blank mind,
• I like to do thought experiment when
• I cannot sleep in the middle of the night. 
• I like flowers in spring, rain in summer, leaves in autumn, and snow in winter.
• I like to sleep early, 
• I like to get up late;
• I like to be alone,
• I like to be surrounded by people.
• I like country’s peace,
• I like metropolis’ noise; .
• I like delicious food and comfortable shoes;
• I like good books and romantic movies.
• I like the land and the nature, 
• I like people. And,
• I like to laugh. 

 
This is a brief introduction of myself. If you are interested in knowing more, read my articles or take a look at my pictures. Do not expect too much, and keep your sense of humor.

L.O.V.E

"…Real love is nothing less than spiritual love…"

Turning Point

My life is about to take a drastic turn of events. I'm scared, but I'm going with my gut on this one. Do what you love, love what you do. My career/education path is about to undergo some pretty vital changes, but I am confident that this is for the better.


"I know I can. Be what I wanna be. If I work hard at it. I'll be where I wanna be."

;)